I was so excited to come to US. My husband came to India saw me .I am married to a software engineer who is working on a H1 visa in the USA. Like most Indian marriages, mine was an arranged marriage. We got married (May 1999) within 15 days. Everything was so fast, I didn’t had time to think how married life would be. After marriage we struggled for my passport. We applied through agent; he was one of my far relative’s friends. So we taught it will be easy to get the PP, but it was the other way. He made us to have several rounds to his office; this was after paying him so much money. At Last I got my passport.
My husband asked his company for papers to process VISA. Got the papers within week or so. My Husband left to US, as it was already 2 months for him. I went for VISA with my brother, sister & brother-in-law. This was a great adventure, because its 10 hrs journey from Bangalore-Madras & more than that it was summer time. Madras is horrible place to stay during summer.My husband had given all the instruction. My brother went early in the morning & stood in the line for me. It was a very hot day in Madras; I did not have good sleep. The gate opened at 9 AM, I went inside, and there were lot of people. They gave a form to fill; I took help of a person who was sitting next to me. Then when my turn came I was scared to death, gave all the papers to them. For my bad luck they said I have to get new DD with less amount. I immediately came out & went looking for bank. Some how I managed to get the DD. They told me to come next morning. When I went there next morning my roll number was called. She said you could collect your visa after four in the afternoon from window 3. I was speechless. But you will get surprised to read this, next morning when I was at the counter they asked for old DD.
The clock seemed to have stopped. But then it finally reached and I found myself already at window 3. I was handed my passport. I checked to see how I looked on my AMERICAN visa. Yes, I felt a smile on my passport size photo, which was looking imperfect before getting the visa. I felt lucky along with being intellectual.
Goodbye TIME
Then came the day, I had to leave. Long journey made me feel uncomfortable but with the dreams of meeting my husband, small barriers have no meaning at all. Difficult part was to say "Goodbye". All the relatives, friends and neighbors were at my home. This is India, where everyone in all sorrows and joys come to us with full encouragement and support.
I could see flushing eyelashes of my sister, trying to hide her tears, My mothers best wishes in form of many sweets prepared specially for me and my father who seemed too bold but at the same time looked very timid too. I touched everyone's feet, which is a symbol of respect for elders in Indian culture and got wishes and left with my Parents and In-laws to the airport.
Finally I had to say final goodbye at the airport too and as I moved forward, I felt I was once again speechless & tears rolled down from my eyes. I waved my hand and made a promise to myself, I will get the best of what the world has to offer to me. I was suddenly becoming very understanding, matured and confident. More than that my husband had sent the instructions what to do? What not to do? When I mean instruction, that’s in detail.
USA
After landing in USA I was happy to see my sweet hubby outside waiting for me with some flowers. I took some help for baggage, but I forgot to give him tips. Then my hubby saw us coming & he gave him the tips. When I got inside the car first thing I told is that “I am Hungry & I want some Good Food”. I tried to pay attention to the newness of my surroundings but felt tired. But he said first we will go home then we will go to some restaurant. Seeing the roads, cars amazed me…
Everything was new: pennies, nickels, dimes, and dollars, cold cereal instead of warm idlies in the morning. Strangers smiled & said hello. I learned that when people greeted me by saying,”Hi! How are you?” The correct response was not to elaborate on how I actually felt but to toss it right back at them with a “fine. How are you?” Nobody littered, spit, or cursed.
I went Many Places on weekends. Fridays were more exciting days, because people plan for their weekends to go out. My Husband use to plan for the weekends I use to keep things ready to go. Weekends use to bring a new discovery of things.
Homesick In USA
I put on weight watching Oprah, Dr. Phil, Friends, and channel surfing for Indian programs, Internet surfing. I was so happy to surf Internet, as I could see what’s happening in the world. Internet became my best friend in the world. When the Discovery channel showed snakes and Tigers from the Indian subcontinent, I would feel elated momentarily but sink into gloom thinking of home and festivals like Nagarapanchami, Dipawali, Ugadi, Dashera and Holi. Missed the call of the milkman early in the morning. I recalled the jingles between songs that played in Vividha Bharathi. I missed bargaining with the vegetable vendor, and playing with my neighbor kids, but above all I missed my Parents. I use to call my friends every week in the beginning, then monthly and then I stopped calling. I use to write letters to all my friends, but after a while I stopped that too. My friends were getting married & started their new life.
Piano classes I decided to take a piano class to pass my time. I like to sing & I am a music lover. But I had never taken piano classes before. Curious, I called the piano class. Teacher was an Indian. I said I wanted to take piano class & I have never taken any class before. “That’s all right,” he said. Next day I went there met the teacher; per class it was $25. I was little shocked by the fee, My husband said if you are interested don’t worry about the money. It was one-on-one class, I was bit scared on first day. But it went on very well. It needed lots of practice, after 4 weeks I felt like I am not practicing it & wasting the money. I dropped out of piano class.
Driving License
I was rambling when my husband’s birthday came. I can't buy him anything for his birthday even if I want to. Because I have to ask him to take me to the mall, we only have one car and I still don't drive. I don't want to spoil our weekends by asking him to teach me to drive. I have a learners permit, though I still haven't taken the driving test…. My experience began with a visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles or DMV where you have to stand in a long line and after an hour, you're told to go get a letter. That sounds just like home! But wait till you hear what happens next: simply walking into the office and asking for it gets you the letter! See what I mean? You've got to be ready or it hits you hard!
In the meantime, you've been handed a book of driving rules. The book has to be read, and so carefully as to be able to give a written exam on it. Now wait a minute, don't you have to know how to drive first? I mean, if you've never driven (or is it drove?) a car in your life, how are you supposed to comprehend the meaning of stuff like "blind spot"?
Anyways, you plunge into the text, hoping to mug up enough to pass the exam. And then the obstacles begin…
At first it's easy, Red is for Stop, Green is for Go and Yellow means Wait. Then there are arrows, again red, green, and yellow. Fine, Then come the traffic signs. Then you discover that there is something called "Right of Way". We are used to following Darwin at home (survival of the fittest) - but here you must give way to people and cars. And pedestrians are supposed to be "God" - which is nice when you're walking, but not so when you're watching the light turn red while an especially slow walker crosses the road.
Of course, you must drive within the speed limit. We will get caught if we drive too fast. But, you get caught for driving too slow too! So you must drive neither faster, nor slower.
And after it's all done and the written exam is taken and you've passed, you move on to the worse problem: driving! I could not pass driving for first time, as I did not stop at the stop sign. uhmm not even second time. At last third time I got the license. I am sure they got fed up of me & gave the license.& wasti
Interaction is the key
Once I was talking to a friend about all my feelings, immediately she knew what I was talking about. So she said, Oh don't worry this is just a passing phase, we all went through it, but you should have patience, has your husband applied for a green card yet? Did you get your driving license? Did you get your TIN number? I felt like I should make lot of women friends and bond with them. The Question she asked gave me some comfort. Friends are everything here. In case of emergency we will need their help, you never know what will happen next! I started to talk to people & made some friends.
ng the money. I dropped out of piano class
